Zloppy, it is all in your head! Your experiences have shaped you. You had the anxiety provoking experiences (I do believe that there is a genetic component too). I have recovered from anxiety. In a nutshell basically what I did over time was shake everthing out of my head onto the table, examined everything and put only some of it back in, most of it only after altering it a bit. Therapy, therapy, therapy, self analysis and understanding (what is going on with me? How did I get this way? What am I going to do about it to change?) and you will get a more functional you..... (and much happier!)