I'm glad you didn't settle yet, as obviously you need to set your attorney straight on what you need.

Divorce is messy at best. When you add someone who is controlling to the mix, then it is even more difficult. You might do better with a male attorney, one whom the ex to be won't corner and put down (mentally if not visibly.)

It doesn't matter if you did stomp out. You left and that was the RIGHT thing to do. Don't let them hurry you along, that is a ploy they use to pressure you to make rash decisions and overlook important details.

Maybe the next meeting could be on one or two issues for now, at the moment, with the other stuff being piece-mealed also? Don't let them skirt you about on a zillion issues at once. Tell them it's ADA accommodation

You did good! Remember, if the two of you were able to work things out between you, you wouldn't be needing a divorce.