Hey - only four orchids is four more than I have in MY garden. I do have grapes, though! And flowers! And some dying tomatoes. We had a family of racoons in the grapevines the other day - the babies were really cute.

Glad you like my Penguis. I would throw myself in front of a speeding train for that cat.

Krazee - I'm sad for you about your classmates pulling away from you. And although it's entirely possible that you are being overly sensitive and that you're reading too much into their body language, if you don't feel comfortable with the way they react to you, then you're right, it is a problem. I don't know if you CAN correct it -- in fact, they don't sound like they are very nice people if they turn cold when you merely say "hi". But, I don't think you should have to isolate yourself because of THEIR feelings... but if it helps you, then I guess that's what you have to do. Remember that your feelings are much more important than theirs are. And if they aren't nice to you... well then why try to change yourself to be friends with someone who isn't nice?

About the major differences. Everybody has something in common with each other. Maybe it isn't the obvious things. Okay, take us for an example. You are 22 and live in the Philippenes and are in medical school. I am 34 and live in the US and don't know my kidney from my liver. If that's all we know about each other, then at that level, we really don't have anything in common. I could talk to you about accounting software and bore you to tears. In fact, I do that to my clients all the time. But that's why I'm asking other questions about you... about your garden, you asked me about my pets, we haven't talked about sports yet but believe me, that subject is coming up next. And food - I have a million questions to ask you about Philippino food, and if you like food, then bingo - we have something in common! And religion (although I don't have much to say about that topic, but then again, maybe you don't either -- and that would be something else in common!).

I still think the key to behaving with someone you don't know well is to ask questions about the other person. I have a stupid habit to end up having it sound like an interview, which is bad, but if you're shy to begin with then I don't think you have much to worry about doing THAT. So ask them some questions about whether they are into gardening, if they like operating on people, what they did that weekend, etc. Then, after they answer, if they are also shy then they might just leave the conversation hanging in midair. If that happens, then just start talking as if they asked you the same question. My boyfriend is very shy, and when I first met him, I would ask him a question, like "what are you going to do this weekend?". He would answer, but then never ask me what I was going to do. There were two interpretations to that: 1) he wasn't interested in what I was doing that weekend, or 2) he was shy and hadn't fully developed his social skills. I guessed that he was just shy, so I took the liberty of telling him what I was doing anyway... and then it turned into a conversation. (he knows that he has to reciprocate the questions now, though and is much more comfortable now in social situations - it's nice to see that).

How about if you try this: think of a couple, maybe 5, questions that you could ask me about myself. Try to have them be somewhat related to something you are interested in. What do you think? Want to try it?

Your friend,
LMo

We are ALL going to be a-ok!