i had to make some very difficult and painful decisions this week. i have never, ever in all my life did something that would hurt someone quite like this is going to. i had no real choice.

i'm currently separated and we plan to move forewrd to divorce... but after yesterday's actions.. i doubt my ex will ever speak to me again and will likely not want to give me a divorce finaliztion. My spousal support is now gone, no doubt. i can't explain quite why.. but there is no legal recourse for me on that one. He is obligated to support me in part, but there is no way to make that happen. Legally it isn't possible. i don't want that anyway.. legal fighting i mean...

we haven't lived together in a while.. and things have been difficult at times but at no time have i ever had any desire to inflict pain or anguish. i've been so respectful and patient with him... all because it was me who initiated this and i really do want him to be happy in the end.

i really had no choice but to do what i did... but he will not understand..

im so scared. He is not going to take this very well at all. i didn't want to hurt him.. not my intention... i know he is going to be so mad and upset. idk what to do.