Jennie, thanks.

I have to say I'm fortunate in that I didn't suffer any abuse as a child, sexual, physical or emotional, except for a couple of years from my step dad from about 16-18, but he was just a stupid jerk anyway so it was *mostly* easy to brush off. Things like telling me I was a bad influence on his kids because when I was 18 and legal drinking age I went out with my friends. Taking his own kid to a bar at 14 was perfectly fine though. Go figure.

It's my ex husband's crap I'm finally starting to deal with now, little by little (although as much as I'm getting off my chest lately it doesn't seem like a little). I mean I'm DEALING with it little by little. Change is hard, even when it's for your own good (and that's when it's your OWN mind telling you it's for your own good, not someone else telling you it's for your owm good, meaning their own good). Oh for crying out loud, could I sound any more confusing?

Yeah, I'm a babbler and a rambler and I can't stay off of this message board to save my life (or my job for that matter).