When you open your eyes and see nothing but darknesss, you feel overwhelmed and hopeless. While you may not be aware of it at the moment, you have made decisions that will eventually let the light shine through.
As a frog of little brain I'm not able to give great insights into your problems. Hopefully the information you require to see the light will come your way soon.
Here is a rainbow and a road to follow. I hope everything works out for you.

