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silentandscared · Nov 07, 2008, 10:46 AM

(((((((((( to all who posted a reply)))))))))))))

A big thank you

sorry for dumping all this on you folks who all have your own pain. I would love to be able to explain it all too you all but im sorry but at the moment l cant. The only thing that l will say is this.......l am a very impatient person.. l want the healing and hurt to go like yesterda when l know in my heart of hearts that this is not going tohappen. It has taken 40 years to putit all there and l have no clue as too how long this will take to sort it all out. The confusion and my rapid feelings are the worst at the moment and l feel as though as soon as l put my guard down even a little wham its back with avengance. so for now l am trying to take small even minute steps and try to handle each thing as it a rises instead of trying to ignore it all in the hope that it will all go away....... you all seem to keep referring to my "strength" that is something that you all see but at present l dont so what l will do is this , l will hold onto the thought of that strength and the reminders that l keep recieving about how far l have come from you all ............l know have these words printed on my fridge so in my lowest hours l can read and reread if need be........ for now l need to try to take care of me and not worry too much about wether l think that l deserve to be looked after and nurtured by myself........... so once again a BIG BIG thank you to all of you and my you all find peace from your pains within and start to walk the healing path with the guidance from others at PC. l hope that one day l will be able to do for someone what yu have all done for me..... given patience, time, understanding, love, care all in a non judgemental way

today and always you will always be my my heart and prayers

heal well and stay safe
love mandy and allxxxxxxx