I don't know what would have happened if I'd fallen in love with a good man who was polyamorous.

I do, I did. I was young and didn't know what monogamy meant to me, if I wanted to get married, why I'd want to, or if I wanted children. Infact marriage was the furthest thing from my thoughts and I didn't want children at all. He was already with someone else, living with her, and at first it was fine.

I started to get envious of their living situation, I felt left out. We all ended up living together. It only lasted about nine months. The two of them fought all the time. It completely drained my energy, time, and personality. He and I hit a wall where our relationship wasn't moving any longer and I wanted it to keep going further. She and I had a relationship, but I was in it because of him.

I left the situation. Later I found out a lot of the fights were about me. She was bad mouthing me behind my back while crying on my shoulder!! He left her too. After a few months apart we started dating again. I let him know that I wanted to one day be married and have children and that I would never be with more than one person at a time and if he wanted to, then he needed to be with someone else.

We have a lot of hurt from the past that we're still working on. I didn't end things on a good note. Every now and then I wonder if it will last, us being monogamous... him being monogamous I should say. I don't have that worry often, but it comes from having watched the two of them constantly cycling. The fights, the drama, the bs resolution, and the fight that began 30 minutes later. He never cheated, he doesn't get too flirty, he's an honest guy. I was involved with her too, but he wasn't with her for good reasons.

The relationship he and I had could only go so far because of his other committments. We couldn't be honest with people about our relationship because it wasn't conventional. We didn't get to do "normal" things at all. I was really just a buffer for their fights. He's mad, I'll be the soft place to land. They didn't have a healthy enough relationship to invite another person into it. Too much drama for too little life.

Anyway, it's a lot of work to fix a relationship that didn't have to happen that way. With what I know now, I would have told him no. If you want me, then no her. The truth is he would have done it. I just had no idea.

Just sharing my experience in a 3-person relationship. closed, not open.