Last night i had a fight with my mum. I stayed home yesterday and didnt go to school coz i had an important assignment that i didnt finish that was due. my mum said i could stay home as long as im working on it all day - which i did. the kitchen was a mess and i didnt realise coz i was in my room all day working on this assignment, she comes home and full on screams at my face coz i didnt clean the kitchen. i explained to her i was in my room doing my work and she said stop being so selfish, and threw something in the kitchen sink. she is still pissed off at me and grounded me for the weekend. its really unfair coz they never get my sister to do anything and when i told her that she said, stop trying to even out everything. but its so unfair that my sister gets to sit round and watch tv all day when im nearly finishing school and shes like 13.

Later last night i tried to tell my mum i've been depressed lately and that i have to see the counciler coz my friends got so worried. i told her in a nice way that the way she pressures me about school is wrong, and she said, im a good parent, every family would do this, if you cant handle it i dont kno why your at school. then i told her i dont want to be here anymore, as in i dont want to be alive anymore, and she took it as i want to move out and she said, fine if you want move out i dont care. she also said if your seeing the counciler coz of pressure its stupid and you need to snap out of it.

My own mother doesnt care. If she doesnt then what hope have i got? I was so close to killing my self yesterday, the only reason why i didnt was because i didnt want to do it wrong and still be alive. I dont even want to try to talk to her again after what she said, it hurts soo much