You guys give me a lot of hope in my own ability. Thank you. I just am scared because i am on only a very low dose of anti depressant. I just start having doubts when things hit and then my body reacts. I hate that I have to do this. Its not fair. My emdr therapist thinks that I am so used to shutting off my body sensation or fighting them and then emdr is trying to make a connection that its making things hard. I think she is right. All the things that my childhood taught me was that my body made my life hard. It had needs I couldnt meet and I had to shut it off and now i am an expert at it. Alot of my flashbacks are in the form of body memories. I am sure she is right I spent alot of my childhood in a dissacoiated place. Trying to connect the two back together is probably hard to do. I am not sure what you guys can do except maybe read what i write and keep encouraging me. Thanks so much.