Hey Sugar,

you sound so panicky I had to let you know that OF COURSE someone will post!

Jealousy is awful, the most horrible thing! I don't know who it's worse for, the one feeling it or the recipient of that feeling. Age has nothing to do with it. Not at all! You can be jealous at any age and in any kind of a relationship with any kind of person because it's all about YOU and your insecurity. Which you know yourself.

This can be hard to take, realising that it's all of your own making, but very empowering too! If you can start this kind of thing in your head, it means you can also stop it. It's all too easy to let it spiral out of control, to get yourself into a state of mind where you feel crazy and are totally irrational.

In the short term, try challenging yourself. Tell yourself to stop, to stop thinking it, try to distract yourself by doing something physical right away, ring a friend and talk about something else! Try and talk 'sense' to yourself, remind yourself of just one thoughtful and loving thing your boyfriend has done for you and stay there. Don't let your imagination go even one step further. Breathe!

When you are calm try to tell your boyfriend that you do trust him, that you care for him very much, and that you are aware of your issue and are trying to handle it.

Then, handle it! Sugar, there's no substitute for counseling for this. Particularly if you have a history of episodes and medications. Are you in therapy? There are many things you can do, most easily with the help of a professional to manage your jealousy in the short term. Looking at the insecurity that lies behind it is a slightly longer project of self-discovery and self-esteem. Many people take years! This should not discourage you but let you know that we are always changing and learning and adapting and that we all have triggers that can set us off, in lots of different areas, and that those can be managed too!

Don't beat yourself up about it. You have identified the problem and that is half the battle!

Go get em.

xx