I know what you mean. I do not like labels. A week or two ago, I met with my teenage daughter's therapist, who told me she was "very depressed." I really withdrew from that label/diagnosis. Inside I was saying these words to her: (Depressed? You've been seeing her for one and half years and now you tell me? Her doctor said she wasn't depressed--what do you know? You only have a master's in therapy and specialize in touchy-feely art therapy.) I'm still coming to terms with that label, and wondering what it really means for my daughter, as well as her treatment. I have often felt my daughter has some sort of organic imbalance, dating back years and years and years. But somehow I really latched onto my doctor's words that she was not depressed and am realizing I was holding them up as some sort of shield. On the other hand, I felt a huge sense of relief that someone finally recognized that something is going on with my daughter, as I have had this nagging, nagging belief that she falls outside the range of normalcy. That's hard to write. So yes, chaotic, I understand about labels.

And your child's opportunities become curtailed and teachers start having really different expectations, which can be harmful. I understand, I understand, I understand.

If you do want your son to undergo any sort of testing for learning capabilities in the future, I would recommend this be done outside of the school system and not shared with the schools, unless YOU choose it to be. (Do you suspect your son might have ADHD?)

I too am no reading expert, but there are some things you can try. It might be worth picking up a book on reading disabilities (sorry) and boning up on current strategies for success. I think you could probably go browse in the teaching/learning section of a big bookstore affiliated with a university (not the textbook section) and find a good starting resource. Also, it is not necessary for readers to learn phonics in order to become very facile readers. That approach does not click with some students and others are better suited to them. I personally strongly endorse phonics, but I know it is not the only game in town. I think "learning style" is also important. Is your son a visual learner, auditory learning, kinesthetic learner, etc.? I think for students who are strong auditory learners, there are things they can do "out loud" to help them learn to read. I can guess what some of those might be, but I don't want to suggest anything specifically because I am not an expert. Just as an example of what helps someone who is a visual/print learner, but not an auditory learner (myself!), my comprehension of what someone is saying is improved TREMENDOUSLY by taking written notes. That's a simple strategy. There may be similar little things your son can try to help himself, IF you know what his specific learning needs are.

Conferring with an independent reading expert (not school affiliated) might really be helpful.

Good luck.