What do you think you're scared of if you ask for help? I thought I could handle everything I was going through until one night I honestly could not stop crying. That was two months agao and though I still have bad days and bad moments, I know that I will make it. I reached out for help here, I did something that was hard for me--I opened up. I also sought the help of a t. The jury's still out on how that's going but if nothing else it gives me somewhere else to cry besides work, my car and home! It may help you to go back through previous posts in the depression forum and read some of the things there. You said you feel like you are the only one in the world--I'm the opposite; sometimes I feel like I don't exist. (Until I get a bill in the mail, then I know I exist!!) Do you have anything you like to do, any hobbies and such?