I am alone and scared. I am dog sitting at my cousins house here in the city. I am from the country. I don't like it here all alone.

I am kind of bored but mostly depressed. I am unemployed and broke. I can't do anything outside of the house and have no desire to anything more than staying inside or sleeping.

My main problem is I feel myself slipping. I get anxious b/c I see what I am doing and know what it usually leads to with me.

I think of ways I could hurt myself (both temporarily and the end of me) I have no active wish to die, but still fantasize about it. Being here alone makes it that much worse. I have no real contact with people so no one cares what I am doing. I can do what I want with no one around to stop me or even know. This power excites me and scares me when I am feeling rational (like now)

I don't know how to protect myself from myself. I am my own worst enemy and I have the power to intimidate myself to do whatever harm I can plan.