Thanks for all those who have tooken the time to give me some advise. I will continue to come to these forums cause I need help sometimes. I know people have good intentions giving me advise. But I spoke to my sister before reading the reply's. Shame on me. I insisted my sister come to my daughters birthday. We'll see how that goes. The funeral is on Friday. I've only seen her husband a handful of times. And every time it was me giving them something. I try to do the right thing and say the right thing. But well I need to learn how to keep my mouth shut sometimes. And just listen. I need to come to the forum to understand other people's views. I'm too aggressive with my sister, I don't know how to treat her with sympathy at times. I decided to ask for help cause I don't want to create any more issue's for her. I want to be a friend not just the annoying older sister. Thanks to all those who have tooken the time to answer my post I really have no clue on how to treat this situation.