Wow, so many responses, thanks everyone. I read all of them several times, this gave me a lot of new topics to think about (in this case it's normal thinking, not panicky kind of stuff ) and it also kind of got me through the weekend without breaking the promise.
I realized one thing that i guess is important: the "kid" is the one who likes going to therapy and trusts T, and wants to talk to her, but "executive" part won't let that happen. When T starts to ask questions about deeper stuff, i always end up in an inner dialog, for instance: "shut up" "but i want to tell" "shut up, u don't understand anything" "but it's ok because blah blah blah" "shut up or i kick u in the head" and so on. I remembered i have said about feeling like I am two different people to T before (and more than once actually), this was the first time i identified them, so i guess addressing the parts separately was logical thing to do. The only problem is T left the wrong part of me in charge for the weekend. I guess i should tell this to T tomorrow, but i just don't know how. I'm not good at talking.

I'm so glad the weekend is nearly over, i'm really tired of myself and inside my head.