WOW ok 1st of all why is he chatting with his ex???? I would not be ok with that! If he still wants to be friends with her then he hasnt let go of their relationship. Its def looking that way if he's comparing you to her?!? You are not the same! Tell him that.... make it really clear. Guys are so stupid they need it spelled out for them....ask him how he'd feel if you and one of your ex BF were still talking or friends? Akward.... it seems like he doesnt know what he wants if one day he says he loves u and wants to hang out then the next he needs space. Babe I say get yourself a new man or tell him to let that other girl go and figure out what you want then call me!
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Originally Posted by salukigirl
Im not really sure how to deal with this or if this is even a fear of commitment or something else.
Heres a good example of the kind of thing Im talking about:
The other day I was at work and he went with some friends to a bar thats right next to where I work. Me and some other coworkers had ordered food from there (before I even knew he was there) and one of my coworkers had been left out some how. So later we were clocking out and were going to go to the bar so my other coworker could get some food from there. So I asked my boyfriend if he wanted me to go somewhere else so he could hang out with his friends and he said no, he wanted me to come see him. But then later said he felt like I was checking up on him. I told him that that wasn't the case and after a while he apologized for getting mad at me.
But I just dont get it. Its like he'll have intimate conversations with me, tell me how much he cares etc.... and then once things seem to be going too well something comes up and he gets upset that Im "tracking him" or whatever. It just sounds like he's terrified of commitment. And when were together hes all for it but sometimes he just does a 180 and flips over nothing saying Im doing these things that im not doing. Sometimes hell be with his friends while Im at work or whatever and well still talk, text etc... But then other times hell be with his friends and get upset that Im trying to talk to him. So I guess I never know whether he wants to be left alone or what.
And he always sees that he freaked and apologizes for getting mad or flipping out but Id like to avoid these situations all together. And it seems like, whenever hes in one of those moods, no matter what I do the situation ends up the same so I don't know if there is a better way for me to approach him while he's like this or if its just how he is at that moment.
His last relationship was pretty messed up and she did some pretty horrible things to him. Theyre trying to be friends now but she still does some pretty back handed things and they rarely talk now. So I can understand why he would be afraid to put himself out there because I could turn around and do the same things to him. But I don't understand the switching back and forth. The wanting to be with me 24/7 one day and getting mad when I call him the next.
Im also opening this is to men who want to send me a PM if they know what he's feeling. I just don't want to make him feel like Im acting like his ex and I don't want to hurt him. I just don't know how to deal with him when he gets like this because Im not used to it. Anyone know what Im talking about? Sorry... my thoughts seem pretty scattered in this thread lol
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