Thanks everyone, I guess the idea of not working on the day never entered my head - always thought "just get on with it and stop whinging!" also didnt want to admit defeat - that it still bothers me - that seems to say he won - adn i dont want him to win anything !!! - have always had to be strong for others (funny im the youngest but im the one people turn to when they want help) and that if i wasnt strong then somehow that meant that what happened could happen all over again - so i had to stay strong all the time - very tiring!

My boss is back tomorrow so i may pluck up the courage and ask if i can take day off - although the 24 hour virus is sounding good bacause then i wouldnt have to tell her why - there is still shame - anyway - thankyou all for your suggestions - i appreciate them one and all P7