Hi mouse, I can really relate to what you said - somtimes i feel like i am inside my body looking out at the world - i can see a world out there and i want to be part of it but i am so involved in what is happening to me at the time (PTSD) and surviving it that that's all i can cope with - every now and again i have an awake moment - when it seems i see and feel and look at things as if they were brand new - i wish it were like that all the time - at my worst times i crawl back into my shell and isolate myself from the world because it's all i can do just to breathe - i know that sounds crazy - and i think i have shrunk my circle of friends to a few that can put up with me when i go over the edge - each day i hope i and all of us move a little closer to getting better - tiny steps sometimes - sometimes two steps back one forward - as long as we keep moving there is hope. Everyone here makes some good points - i wish everone well - take care P7