Hi miss C, It happened with me that as soon as I literally figured about the transference, both maternal and paternal to my therapist, I started (still a long way to go) putting emotions where they really belong. So I alternated between intense anger to very relieving feelings of forgiveness, acceptance and understanding towards my real parent figures. It detaches me from my therapist to an extent, but there is still a bond, for a feeling of having been parented by him for a good 2 years and for the gratitude that he introduced me to this fascinating world of being able to know rather than suppress myself. Its new for me, so I don't know where this will lead, but maybe it means that my future contexts and relationships will be to an extent free from the shadow of the pain of the past ones. While this is going on, I feel sense of hopelessness, that I grew up with, a sense of unreality and even wide eyed bewilderment because it seems that all familiar contexts are changing and each moment is a new one to understand and pass...... Its not easy by any means, but my experience in the past couple of years tells me that it will pass, and I will be stronger for it.
I am guided to a good extent by my dreams and my dreams helped me understand my transference to a major extent, where I literally saw my therapist in my parent's guise.