Thanks ((((((((((((((((everyone)))))))))))))))))))

Somehow I am afraid I am going to blow this. Like I have this chance to heal more, move forward, and I'm not going to be able to do it.

Last night Teacher T said "I'm not ready" to work with her privately on the meditation stuff, which stung. But she said, that is what she heard coming from ME, that my fear is too great, and that she is deferring to my "wisdom".

I feel like I WANT to be ready, but I'll NEVER be ready, and it's just discouraging. I definitely, definitely feel like I'm doing something wrong. I am trying SO hard, and I don't know if it's getting me anywhere.

I am so angry at the parts of me that are so filled with fear. Teacher T said to listen to those parts, and honor them, but to realize that there are other parts at the table who have hope, and who desire peace and healing, and to let them have their say too. I am trying!

It's so frustrating.