Is there anyone here who has gone through this and come out on the other side? Can you convince me that it is worth it?

I have so many layers of defenses built up, and every time I try to move through them a little bit, there is so much pain. And what will be there when I get through all of them? Do I even want to know?

I am really wondering right now if this journey is worth it. It seems that the more love and compassion that comes in my direction, the faster and farther I want to run. I don't understand myself at all.

I feel so lost!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!