That's so interesting to me, EM, because from your posts, you sound like such a caring and compassionate person. You are constantly supporting other people with their struggles. And yet, when someone tries to offer the same to you, you find it really hard and want to avoid it. Hmmm.

It reminds me of a story about my friend at work. She had been working really long hours under a lot of stress for several weeks, and was about at her breaking point. And then, something went wrong, and it was like 8 pm, and it became clear that she was going to have to cancel her plans and stay late again. And just then, our nicest boss walked in to ask her how she was doing. She said if it had been any of our other bosses (i.e. the meaner, less kind ones), she would have been fine. But when he came in and showed her genuine kindness, that was it, she fell apart and started crying. Maybe you're afraid of something similar happening?? I don't know, it just reminded me of that story.

I think that's interesting too, lifelesstraveled. The where it all began piece. I think I have similar struggles. The part that I don't fully understand is why it's so hard to accept when you finally get something you've always wanted. Like, why dosen't it just immediately make you feel good and happy and complete, to have what you've always wished for? What exactly makes it so hard? That to survive, you have developed an idea of yourself as not needing any of that, of being so independent, of it being weak to accept that? And then that idea of yourself is challenged when compassion is shown to you and somewhere deep inside you start to feel yourself wanting it? I'm just thinking outloud here...but it's an interesting question.