It`s not the firts time i feel like this without a good reason.

It happened with my boyfriend today but it happened b4 and i don`t know how in the world to fornce myself out of it!

If people sound slightly indifferent or bussy or,,,i don`t know...sort of alittle bit "cold" but even not cold just ..you ..know..sometimes relaly ordinary and normal and i hear something else in their voices,. like if they have smiled to be bedore and now they don`t maybe they dislike me now and my presense is no pleasent for them..

I had it with my boyfriend yesterday. when we were talking on the phone he talks indifferently, like.....blah.but it was HIM who called not me...so he calls but he talks like that...his voice was totally different.. his reactions also then he calls me today, sounds even worse, tells me we can`t meet because he is sick

My problem is that every time i hear something a little bit wrong i am afraid he wants to throw me away.

I have this COLD feeling suddenly...i hate it i feel stupid because of it it`s horrible.

This saturday he told me on the phone that there were issues in our relationship in the past |(we parted, were just friends and now came back together) so he was talking about the time before we separated....i didn`t know about it and it was really strange for me

i must say that here i do somewhat blame him for he DIDN`T TALK about it and then he broke up with me all of the sudden :angry:
well he has OCD......

but when he said tha ti felt cold ****ed horrible, and i thought that he was going to leave me and that he thought i was a ***** with him, althought he was talking normaly...and said "i guess you don`t want to talk about it ...you sound sad. "

but it is my problem and today when i asked him about his voice he said:
"Can i ask yuou for something? don`t say it again because if you say it all over again it can happen. "

But ppl don`t UNDESTAND that ppl who feel like that need a proof need a sense of care of love of confort and all they do is getting sick and angry like "come now! DEAL WITH IT! and it is not that ****ing easy. It is strange because in my family, i had TO MUCH love...being the only child in the family. when ppl ta;lk like that i always head "**** you " in the subtext. i know they don`t mena it but i feel like i want they don`t want me and on and on..............

I wish i didn`d give a ****. sereosly. I know what`s right and better but TO GET MYSELF THERE is a another story.