I'm laying in bed in tears, its 8am and I'm shattered, stupidly depressed and want to give in. Just had yet another awful night... went to bed at 1am-ish, didn't wake during the night this time but had nightmare after nightmare, disturbing ones... loved ones being killed and tortured
like that's not enough hey!!!!!!!!??????? noooooooo apparently not, every night I have A nightmare involving John
he's haunting me
these nightmares, they're all as bad as each other, they are torturing me... I just can't do it... this on top of everything else oh I just don't want to be here. I feel so so lonely right now. ...."right now" she says, I'm lonely all the time

(can't think, my tummy's killing me, feel sick... my heads a mess and I feel like I've a permanent hangover) all because of the nightmares... in fact I think that's an understatement...

aaaaaaarrrrrggghhhh
CAN'T........... WON'T...... DO.......... THIS!