I do think part of it might be that if I accept the love and compassion, the scared, fearful, hurt parts of me will show themselves and there I'll be, stuck with all that pain. It's so scary.

And I think it's finding out....I NEED and WANT love.... I didn't think that I did.

I married someone very distant and unaffectionate, more interested in himself than in me, and I know I did it because that's what felt "right" to me. Discovering that there is this deep longing for love and acceptance inside of me is painful and scary.