Quote:
Originally Posted by desertnurse1977
I haven't posted on here in quite some time - and I just recently hit the chat rooms for the first time in many many months this week.
My wife and I have been going through some very rough times as of late (you can follow my posts by going through my profile if you would like) and it finally got to the point of us separating a couple weeks ago.
My wife has been suffering from some high anxiety and depression coupled with what I feel is mania (to better explain it she just invests every ounce of herself into whatever the situation is regardless of how it will turn out beforehand)
I have found several times where she has been communicating with another guy (the same one for quite some time) and has been sending him very provocative pictures of herself to him, and him likewise. I cant say I was happy about it - but it did really do a number to my esteem and how I felt about the relationship. After each time (three in all) I would confront her about it - and she said she would stop talking to him.
We've had a number of very heated arguments about it - some have been very ugly. She tells me it's all in my head and I need to get over it. Honestly statements like that are slightly confusing - I feel as if i am over reacting after she says something like that. But I am SOOOOO upset about it still.
Now all I have left if anger, confusion, and pain. I have moved out of the house and she is begging me to come back - telling me she will change everything if I want her to to prove how she will dedicate herself to the marriage. It'd a barrage of texts, phone calls, and letters - and I can say it's slightly overwhelming.
The therpaist (who we have been seeing or quite some time now) says a break may be best for us. What's worse is that every time we go in there I am so upset about having to explain how I feel about this as I feel I have to explain myself over and over again about all of it.
And even more so - there are two kids involved (hers from a previous marriage) which honestly just breaks my heart that I have let be subject to her mood swings. Her ex is no better being involved in drugs and may legal offenses.
I guess all I can say is that emotionally I feel completely assaulted and lost. It's nice to be in a separate place where I can be myself for a bit. But I feel like I am abandoning something to which I am holding the keys to. If i move she will loose her house, medical insurance, and many other things.
Sigh.
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I have been there, done that....and its not easy way out.. sounds as if you still have feelings for her.. what type of feelings, only you know that.. But the most important thing here is the KIDS, please don't forget that....you have to do what is best for them, sounds like they have had a tough time also.. I have 3 girls.. and the guilt I felt, was unreal.. we are trying to work things out.. is she going thru menopause you think? maybe she needs some type of medication.. If you can work it out, it would be great, but that is a decision that only you can make.. Don't allow anyone else to make it for you.. Its easy for people to say just walk away and end it..and the results for everyone could be regretable, just remember that. If she is willing to work it out and change.. and is sincere about it....why not give her a chance? Love can over come all things, but people have to have change , they can't go back to the same situation they left.. things have to change.. its that simply if they are to be wored out.. And Im sure both of you have some things you need to change .. right?.. Well, I hope I have been a little help....Just remember the kids..
Best of wishes to you.....Katie