I read all your posts and they helped, there was some great advice, but I still felt too depressed to reply and tell you how much it meant to me.... but now I just feel worse, SO depressed, so hurt, just a mess... only just got out of bed 10 minutes ago (it's 4.40pm)... wasn't sleeping, just online in chat... just needed to talk to someone, so lonely... only it's not the same.
I hurt so much (physically as well today... my 'endo' is playing up)

Why... for years I've been trying... I know why I'm depressed and I know what to do... so why is none of it working ... why have ALL my friends disowned me.
What is about me that's so flippin' awful... o.k. so you might say that's a distorted thought... but it's not!!! 'Cause for three years I've been on my own (admitedly with John a bit... but even he doesn't want to be with me, even though "You're still so special" "I still love you" "I love everything about you and you're my best friend"

ouch... being alone hurts.... being alone for 3-4 years! KILLS :sobs: