Quote:
Originally Posted by earthmama
I am SO angry at T. I know it's probably in the transference, because the level of anger I feel at him is SO extreme.
I called him and asked for everything I have ever written and given to him. All about this one stupid trauma. Then I pretty much called back and DEMANDED it. He left it for me in an envelope in the kitchenette at the office and I just picked it up, brought it home, ripped it all into a million pieces and burned it in a coffee can in the backyard.
So there, T!  |
((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((EARTHYMAMA!))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
I wish burning things would erase the bad parts of the past, but it doesn't. My entire collection of disfigured, melted GI Joes and my sister's dismembered Barbie dolls are a testament to that!
And... you'll have one pissed off little sister to boot.
I get pissed at my T sometimes when he asks questions that probe deeper than I would have had the guts to open up to without prompting. Damn, my T's good too---I'm pretty evasive at times, the sneaky bastard!
Just keep in mind that the past----is IN THE PAST, and therefore has no
real power over you. The fear is always out of proportion to actual threat that disclosure of traumatic events and the resulting feelings actually pose. I've been saying this a lot lately, but silence is bondage; the "truth will set you free." I refuse to live as a slave to the past, and I see no shame in talking about things I had no say in to begin with.
It's a good thing for me I can't keep my damnn mouth shut, huh?
My T always offers me a cup of coffee... that usually helps. I'm a sucker for coffee though, and he knows it! Usually only the first few minutes into the distressing topic are the REALLY bad moments, but it passes. You can always bring a drawing pad to scribble on, or coloring pages and the like while you discuss things. It usually helps for some reason--prevents disassociating and stuff. Yeah, I do that sometimes when T gets his icepick out. I'm in outer space sometimes.
My T has Tinker Toys--I see my T tomorrow, and I've a little bit of anxiety. I think I'll ask him if I can play with the Tinker Toys--I want my Tinker Toy creation analyzed anyway. Every T should have Tinker Toys in their office if you ask me. Really takes the edge off. Who needs alcohol when you have Tinker Toys? Pushaw!
--your co-pilot, sam.