I'm 18 years old. I'm miserable, and I can't remember what it's like to be happy about existence. Since I was 13 years old in 7th grade, I've had depression. My parents are both family practitioners, I've had a very lucky childhood, one older brother, seemingly good friends...it doesn't matter though, I hate everything. There's a girl who is a good friend of mine- very different but I love her to death, I want her to be happy but I hate when i can't talk to her, see her etc...She knows pretty much everything about me, she knows how unhappy I am and how I don't want to be here, but it's obviously something she can't completely grasp- as she does not suffer from this. She's become more involved with a guy now and I feel as though I'm completely losing her- I hate it, everyday I grow more withdrawn from not only reality, but myself. I look forward to nothing and would rather not feel anything anymore. I've been seeing a psychologist for nearly 2 and 1/2 years now and I take a daily dosage of antidepressants. It doesn't seem to matter though, I hate the state of "being". I'm sorry.

-Gab