HI Minnime,

You arnt stupid, you were a child who dealt with it as best as you could at the time and now you are an adult and you are having the courage to see a therapist and deal with what happened even if you dont remember it all - you are VERY BRAVE - you may not feel it at the moment. Why didnt they tell you ? maybe they were ashamed or did not want to make you suffer - they probably thought if you forgot it would be ok - who knows - I don't remember a lot of - well most of my childhood because of the violence and abuse and i used to call myself names like stupid and dirty and worthless until my psych asked me to write 2 letters - one was to myself about what i remembered and to tell myself how i felt about myself - that was a horrible letter - i let it all out all the horrible things i said to myself - next he said write one about the same incident but as if you were writing to a friend - this one was kind and compassionate and then he said try to treat yourself as you would that friend - and that's what i do now - i hope you can find a way to do the same - sorry if i waffled on - take care P7