7am. been crying in bed hysterically for the last 45minutes

Still crying...

i feel sick. I just want to die.
I hurt... more than hurt, I'm in agony.
I've got noone to talk to..... everyday I talked to John (oh there she goes again... it's ok you don't need to read on) about anything and everything... now I feel like I've a backlog. I feel as everything's all mushed up in my head, literally, my head is a big mess.
I don't want to fight anymore, there's nothing worth fighting for anymore. I just wish I had the guts. I don't know what to do.
Have to go to this stupid 'preparation for work' course in few hours.... what's the point.. I want to sleep, I'm so tired..... I want to sleep and never ever wake up again!


ignore me..............