i know! lets make a website bringing together emotionally delicate people. well let them speak freely to each other live in 'chat rooms' and have electronic bulletin boards on which members can purge their feelings, and others can respond with support, encouragement and advice.

it sounds brilliant. it sounds healing. it sounds truly helpful.

so why has it left me feeling like ive sunk twice as deep in my quicksand-like depression? i may be sobbing and my knuckles bloody and swollen, but i try my best to be gracious and kind to people in chat rooms. after signing off, regardless of my little coversations, i generally just feel like a total fraud. to myself. with those minutes, i should have been feeling my feelings, and not playing nice to try to be accepted by screen-names. ha. i was judged harshly right off the bat afterall... so why play along?

i HAVE met two wonderful young women. and they have been amazing. and they know that they have carved out little nooks in my heart for them where they are always welcome to crash.

i was hoping for more. im glad i love my therapist.

im not trying to be a bummer. just venting. sorry folks.



presh

(no need to respond- im kinda scared of responses actually)