((((((((((((((((((((( Pink)))))))))))))))))))))))

I lost my dad 4 years ago, and it IS hard to think about the things that he isn't here to share with me. Like...he doesn't even know we have a dog! He missed C's first piano recital! He doesn't know that S is the best pitcher at the park he plays at. The last time he saw E, E was 1 1/2 and now he is a 6 year old with his own personality. It still hurts. I guess it will always hurt. BUT, I promise, it doesn't hurt like it used to, not in that punch-in-the-stomach-every-single-day kind of way. Your loss is so, so, so new. In AA someone said once "time takes time" and it's so true. Time DOES help...but we can't speed up the time, or the healing.

You're so busy, which is maybe good and bad. Good, because you can't just get lost in your grief...but bad, because there is so little time to process it. When my dad died, C was in the process of being diagnosed with autism, and I had a crazy 1 year old and was homeschooling and taking care of my mom, and I think that the healing was slower because of so much other stuff going on in my life. Maybe having T for 90 minutes each week can give you some time to slow down, and feel what you need to feel about your dad.

(((((((((((((((((((((((pink)))))))))))))))))))))))))) thinking of you, and sending hugs. If a sinkhole the size of Canada appears, have T send a helicopter for you. It's time to go and see that guy in person!