((DN))
Jmo, but I agree with Lenny...
Sometimes the best thing you can do for everyone involved is back off for a bit. Feeling overwhelmed with so many conflicting emotions is hard to say the least...
With so much happening, it would be hard to see things clearly.
Kids do need that reassurance they are not to blame, and that they are loved. Staying together with their mother, though, does not guarantee they will feel any better.
Your therapist should be able to guide you about it.

DN, you are entitled to your feelings...you are being honest and your confusion and anger need to be addressed and honored.
Trying to make you take all the blame or discounting your feelings can be a way of manipulating not only you, but also the situation so it benefits them
Perhaps tackle one thing at a time with the therapist might help...

Legal advice is something you likely need to find--a legal separation can protect the children as well as you while more permanent decisions are made about these things.

Please keep us posted...we care.

Cap