ok so yesterday a very good friend of mine came over to discuss my recent very unwanted ocd I was thinking about how ridiculous it and so dumb! so we started talking about it him giving me reassurance that I was fine and all that so I strated to look back on all my fears and phobias throughtout the year and my life and when I started having obessions it was around 11 or twelve some fears alittle earlier so these were my fears throughtout my life! I had the tremendous fear of vomiting and would freak out if I would feel sick so I noticed I would say something in my head a million times to make sure I wouldn't throw up stupid huh! then forever it was a fear of ecoli or samenella I would have to wash the spatula or what whatever I was using if I felt it got contaminated when infact it was even close to the meat even more dumb!then it went to the having a tumor, heart diesease, blood clots stroke heart attack hantavirus and the plauge even dumber! then it was westnile virus and recalls I would be on the net for hours looking up everyone of these symptoms and risk factors I mean it was awful!! then its not over lol then it was schitzophrenia and pyschosis! and becoming andrea yates!! how aweful I hate it now I have the intursive unwanted thoughts that make me feel like crap I mean it seriously bothers me I have talked about them in other posts
I have been reading up on these recent ones for about three months now about these thoughts and are all related to ocd or harmocd I have read on other sites about this and its an awful thing to have but such a relief to talk about them and not be judged!some days are better then others I say and that eventually this will end and betaken over ny another obession! can't wait to see what that one is lol!