Oh, I sure as hell ID with this. And you put it so well. Its a b_____ that one.
I'm talking to him in my head all f209j43£$^ week, full of feeling, insight etc, then whe the time comes its all gone, and Im empty.
Once I get starte however, things come to life in various degrees. If your T. is good, I think this stage passes. I think its very human, and thanks for sharin this. It makes me feel better about mine. Anyway, you sure as hell can put over the experience here, and thats a good start surely.........?

river

(and you've got an acute sense of dry humour too, its all there!)