thank you manda, thank you cant stop

I will take my meds, tomorrow night I'll take them 'cause it's getting too much (would take them tonight but I'm with my littlies tomorrow and I don't want to turn up drowsy and slurry or anything, want to know what I'll be like on them first)

But, I want to go talk to my doctor... got an appointment for next thursday (my birthday )... because I'm so confued... I don't know who I am, I don't know what's going on with my head anymore! One minute I'm really depressed and feeling suicidal and then I can be as high as a kite... sometimes I feel like I'm just 'floating' and not here in the real world, just kind of hovering and watching everything from outside of my own body. But it all comes and goes.... I can be depressed, with or without suicidal thoughts, for days and all of a sudden can be hyper and feeling great... oh I'm such a mess and so confused... *sigh*

Thank you everyone for being so caring and so patient with me... half the time I don't think I respond enough to what you guys are saying to me, it's not done on purpose... I appreciate everything. But, lately I'll read replies and I understand and it's great but nothing ever sinks in, sometimes it comes back in waves, but.... oh I'm rambling...

I love you guys, thank you (((((((((((( everyone )))))))))))