i keep hurting my friends. they are always calling or trying to get in touch with me...but i have no desire and refuse to talk to even my best friends. i dont want to hear about how happy they are...its so selfish on my part. but it will just make me more depressed about my life. i just want to be happy like them but its so hard. ughhhhhh lsjffkjdgkjdg not fair i just dont wanna keep hurting/ignoring them.