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Whenever there is an issue that needs to be addressed my husband always (yes always) becomes defensive. No matter how mild mannered I am in my approach it turns into an over exaggerated arguement. He becomes loud, uses profanity and shows no respect towards my emotions.
For instance, last night I calmly asked him about the purchase of a new oven, because mine has been broken for 6 months now. This was only after he went and purchased a Xbox 360 for our boys' Chrismas and he also paid $300 towards over oldest son's paintball trip to Orlando. Thankfully the stovetop works, but the oven does not. I have been patient in waiting for him to initiate buying one, because if I do then we never have money. That is not true, but I have no control over household expenses...
Immediately his tone of voice became loud. He said, "then you go and take it back and when I get more money to add to it then you CAN buy one." I told him that I would not take it back, because I did not buy it. "Well then, you have made your choice and I don't see why you can't take it back," he says. I told him that I have been more than patient and have not mentioned it until he shelled out almost $600 the past few weeks.
I could not help but cry and he called me a whiner. I mean it's enough dealing w/having bp I and no support emotionally from him, but when things such as this arise I am so hurt. I feel disrespected, less than and so ugly.
I have no support from my family and am alone to manage all that I do. I had to go back to work fulltime after our year long separation, because money became a forefront with him. I do all the housework, grocery shopping, kids' activities, cooking, washing, etc... I am becoming so overwhelmed and do not know what to do anymore. On several occassions I attempted speaking to him about being overwhelmed, but that turned into something it never should have and as always I am wrong. For what? I really don't know, but I am beginning to wither away.
I just don't know what to do or say anymore...
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youngest of 3 children/parents divorced when i was 8/first hospital stay was at 16 & was diagnosed w/depression/by 18 married/33 it was revealed I in fact had bp/explains my dad's suicide
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