Yes, yes, and yes......I started not to care so much what people thought and said about me when I had a job and co-workers that I loved, people to bounce ideas off of, people to point out that I was too codependent, and gently urge me on my way to independence As I gained more and more confidence, I dated more and more, and began to be more choosey about who I dated, rejecting those that didn't have it all together, as _I_ was beginning to have it all together Then in my studies at nursing school we learned nurses were assertive, period, end of story. I began striving for assertiveness, along with more critical thinking towards my own life, my own relationships...got out of my one sided relationship and began dating my best male friend of ten years But most of all time, time and more time, does it, along with experiences, the right experiences, the right choices, even the right small choices....could you write more about your own situation I'm curious and your desire to be less codependent what a beautiful desire...self-love lasts longer than any kind of love