My T asked me a question out of the blue about one of my traumas on Monday in session when I was already anxious that sent me RIGHT into a flashback, out of nowhere, completely unexpectedly.

He and his office used to feel so safe to me, and now I can't even look into his eyes, because I had this moment of thinking he WAS my abuser. A totally insane moment, but still.

I had session yesterday, and his room is scary to me. His EYES are scary to me. He said I was retraumatized, and he was totally apologetic and I know he worked really really hard to help me feel safe there again. Littlest me left feeling safe, but the rest of me is like - NO WAY.

Has anyone ever been retraumatized in therapy? T didn't DO anything - it's just where I went in my head and how suddenly it happened and how scary it was. I can't BELIEVE T's office is now a "trigger" for me, when we had worked so hard and so long to make it a safe place.

I would love to hear that someone has gone through this and come out on the other side. T is on vacation now (of course!) and I won't see him again until Tuesday. Feels like a long time to sit with this.