That's a tough one and you are right. If members of your family are damaging you, dump them! It seems so obvious when it applies to others, but not so when applied to yourself.

When I was a child my parents did things in "love" that left me reeling, still. Physical and psychological abuse that seemed to them the right way to bring up a child. They were deliberately cruel; I truly think they did the best they knew how.

Now, I can let them be. They are elderly and there is no way to really resolve anything. They have had one child die of anorexic suicide. They don't need to have any more assaults to their roles as parents.

Wherever you go, there you are