Hi Ann,
Thank you for your response. I think I will print out the MayoClinic page you spoke of and bring it with me to my pdoc visit on the 18th.

Ann, your symptoms and the way you express your emotions sound as though I had written them myself--my heart goes out to you.
I am so happy that you are using what you experience to help others through your journal and postings. And I'm proud of you for working so hard to get your degree in the field of psychology or psychiatry. I know its not easy but you'll be well armed to fight the battle to save your life and the lives of others. I'll have to call you Wonder Woman.

You are right, treating the symptoms is the most important thing, but I can't help but feel that the extreme depression I had, with just enough energy to cut and plan and pack my car for a suicide trip, was more than just cyclothymia. And, I agree with you, severe Major Depressive Disorder can't possibly go hand in hand with true cyclothymia. And, I didn't have mixed moods until I started Cymbalta and coming off Paxil, so that tells me it probably was a bipolar reaction that kicked off the extreme emotional pain that sparked the cutting and the overwhelming desire for suicide. I was so close to carrying out the plan but fought with my last ounce of strength to pray and try to refocus. So, my feeling is, if I don't have a clear-cut diagnosis, I don't know what I'm really watching for. I didn't think cyclothymia or even moderate major depression should be so severe or that cyclothymia could cause mixed moods, or that it could rapid cycle between anger, agitation, elation, rage, sadness, and exhausting dark depression 3 full cycles in the same day! pdoc says he's not worried about the hypomania, just the depression at this point, because I scared him half to death when I was suicidal, I think.
Thanks again for answering my post.
I wish you health, peace and much success in you endeavors.
Hugs, JourneyUpward