Pink
You have such a great connection with your T, I can't even imagine what that is like. I feel so disconnected from mine and I keep thinking its because shes not emphathetic ect, sometimes I feel like I am just another number and she's not new, she's been doing it for over 15 years.

Maybe its me, maybe I just won't allow that connection, I don't know, its not like I don't want it. I hear of all these great T stories and wonder why every time I walk in my T's office I don't feel this warm safe place. Its not that I feel she is going to hurt me ect. There just seems to be this wall between us thats not budging.

Im sorry about not feeling safe with the pain, it sucks. I remember a session with my T one time that was something like yours. I recall her saying "if there is anything I want you to hear from this whole session its this" and I don't remember what she said, don't remember much of anything from that session. When I was leaving she asked me to stand up for a minute and not do anything, then she said would you like me to call one of your siblings or friends to come get you. I said no, she said are you going to be ok driving home, I said yes and left.
I dissociate alot in session, that one was probably one of the weirdest times.

I'm happy to hear your T is there for you and knows you pretty well.

Hangingon