I just recently did something similiar-I get paranoid&I get very angry&when I'm feeling either of those 2 feelings I react on impulse. Not good. I'd say noticing what you're doing is a good start. Past or current issues can do it. Your ego may be hurting too. It is a very sabatoging thing when it doesn't feel like it's getting what it wants. Remember only you can do the work on stopping the behaviors that are causing trouble&figuring out where the heck they're coming from. Most important-keep those impulses to just react in control-impulsive acts are very destructive. I'm working on this same kind of stuff myself. I've been trying to blame others for how I feel or how I react-but I've finally learned it's up to me to react or just let it pass as something not worth wasting my time&energy on. People can be jerks&they can trigger feelings from the past-you've just got to learn to not let them get the best of you. It's VERY hard to break this pattern. I'm at the stage where I've been IDing it when it happens&repeating to myself "I will not let someone make me upset&I will not react impulsively". Do you have other mental health issues? They may contribute too. Try reading "A New Earth" by Eckhart Tolle-it's all about how your ego when kept unchecked can reak havoc in your life. You'd be surprised at how much of this is learned behavior that may have worked in the past, but doesn't work in the current time. It's hard to break old habits-especially if you're unaware they exist in the first place. Also, there is a name for what you may be doing-verbal abuse. It definetly affects your marriage&your kids. When you catch yourself, apologize-that helps them&you need to look at how you are lashing out&why. It may have nothing to do with your family right now-but something from your past or mental health issues. I'm not saying you're crazy or bad-that's just beating yourself up&you are ALWAYS the person who beats you up the most. I'm not passing judgement-I just have experienced sabatoge from both ends-as giver&reciever&it doesn't feel good. If you're spiritual at all, I've found that just thinking to myself, "God, I don't like how I'm feeling or what I'm doing, please help me find another way." You'd be surprised at how well that works. Hope this helps&hang in there-don't give up-get over it. I'm where you are too, so I know how hard it is&how awful it can make you feel. Be kind to yourself&remember to ID what you're doing&apologize&make sure your family knows you're working on it. This is usually old bad habits coming to a head or stress or just not knowing how else to cope. DON'T GIVE UP!