I don't know what I was looking for either.

Thanks for the article.

I guess I still am not sure whether I have ADHD or not. Not that it matters. Wouldn't stimulants help anyone? They sure help me. They do not make me jittery or hyper or more anxious, and I don't have trouble falling asleep at night when I am taking stimulants. Maybe that just means I am on the right dose. If my PNP prescribed too much, then I would probably be jittery, anxious, etc., right? Paradoxically, I sleep better at night now that I am taking stimulants and wake up feeling more refreshed. I also fall asleep less in the day. It's like the stimulants have helped me segregate my sleep into the nighttime and my wakefulness into the daytime.

I am taking a course this quarter at the university where I work. A big, undergraduate course where you have to do a lot of reading, memorize lots of material, and take multiple choice tests. Yes, I'm taking it for a grade. I actually can't imagine being able to handle this class without being on the stimulants. I would simply fall asleep most days in class or daydream. That realization makes me feel kind of guilty, like I'm taking drugs to aid academic performance. Whoa, I'm taking performance enhancing drugs!

I guess I was wondering if because I am responding so well to the stimulants, does that means I have ADHD? I think we've been over this before and the conclusion I remember is that doing well on stims is not diagnostic of ADHD. Anyone (adult) would do well on stimulants, right? If anyone has not done well, please raise your hand and be counted.

Maybe it's the Puritan in me that feels kind of guilty about taking drugs that make me function and feel so much better. I think that's it. I feel like I'm doing something forbidden and somehow not quite ethical in taking these drugs.

Lately, I've just been feeling so good. Very generous and magnanimous and in a very good mood. It seemed so unusual, I thought it must be the drugs. However, I misplaced my Vyvanse and didn't take it for two days and still felt great. I wonder if I have a brain tumor.

I would hate to go back to being "normal."

Just blathering, as usual.