i've learned something about friends in the last 5 years that i've pondered, lying in bed at night, watching the pattern of the leaves, on my window, in the moon light....i met a woman here in the town where i live in 1973. we became fast friends. we've been through two divorces, each, the death of our two sets of parents, my traumatic move to New Mexico, a period where she was scaring the hell out of me with her promiscuous behavior, my being depressed and not be medicated properly.....and assorted and sundry ****.. i no longer consider her a close friend and here's why. when i lived in NM, i was extremely lonely...we had always used the same hairdresser and i had asked her for his home number because he and i both loved the NBA..i thought i could call him and we could talk about games. she told me he didn't want me to have it..that he just "didn't" talk to anyone after he went home.....okay...fine...i moved back to town and two small things happened....for all the years we've been friends, she always put herself first on everything. she was an only child from a wealthy family and i chalked it up tobeing spoiled.....i collect antique dinner plates and i set my table with mismatched sets. i love that.. event # 1. we went to an estate sale..i saw a lovely plate. as i reached for it, she reached over me (tall vs short) and grabbed it!! 2. she insist that we go shopping and i had worked three 12 hour shifts and was exhausted..we went and i saw "chinese" shirt that i said "i'm going to come back and get that friday, payday..i could wear it to work..love it!".....we went to another store and then she informed me that she was getting it. walked into store and got it.....at first glance, this might seem like small potatoes. but boy, it wasn't! i started getting flashbacks of all the things that she had been selfish about, self-absorbed about and just plain ****** to me and that was it. nada.it's over........sometimes, you're the bug and sometimes you're the windshield...i don't know which one i prefer, but i'd like to think that i won't be both of them at the same time!!! xoxox pat