hello

please pardon any spelling or grammar. it is late and i'm tired.

My wife called for help tonight and she was standing in the kitchen with a steakknife inched from her wrist. She aske me to take it from her. I did. I tried to get her to go to the hospital again to no avail. She told me to wait until her meds kicked in then she would fall asleep.

Things were going good. Even according to her. I can no longer handle this false sense of security theat things are getting better (she is getting treatment).

brief history

fall 03 ist baby born = post partum = many fights and her threatening divorce over seemingly minute things = marriage counseling = her realization of an anxiety and depression issue = group partial program = refer to outside shrink and therapist = bipolar dignosis = greater depression and feelings of being overwhelmed = "intrusive" thought re: me, the dog, the baby and herself = recommended med. leave of abscence from work (unpaid) = 5 day inpatient hospital stay = additional diagnosis of Borderline Pers Disorder refutted by outside doctor who thinks it rapid cycle bipolar = 3 outpatient DBT class (dialectical behavorial therapy) = wlaked out after 10 day becasue it wasn't "geared" towards her = first real day on her own with the baby (18mos) which is basically what she wanted.

I in the meantime have been taking care of the baby, housework, her, trying to keep up in a job that does't allow for too much of "this type of thing" as