I guess T described it as a retraumatization because of the reactions I was still having when I saw him at my next appointment. I do get that it was definitely a flashback of some sort. Blech.

I have read of being "retraumatized" while working on trauma in therapy?? But I'm not sure what that means, I guess. I assumed that no actual "trauma" occurred in the therapy session, but that the way the past trauma was handled in session created that wiring in the brain that says "a trauma has happened here".

Most of me DOES get that I am safe with T. His eyes are still way, way scary. But I know he didn't actually do anything. I'm a little frustrated with myself for my reaction, but I am just trying to accept it as something that happened in my therapy, and trying to work through it. 99% of me knows that T is obviously not my abuser in disguise. When he sat next to me and I didn't have to look at him, I could FEEL that it was T, and he was safe.

But those eyes. Blah.